


Time to Let Go

by orphan_account



Category: Free!, 風が強く吹いている | Kaze ga Tsuyoku Fuiteiru | Run with the Wind (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Crossover, F/M, Gift Fic, Past Relationship(s), Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:47:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24487696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Even though you’re his first love, he’s not yours. He’s never been and never will be. [dw20]
Relationships: Kiyose Haiji/Reader
Kudos: 6





	Time to Let Go

**Author's Note:**

  * For [deltachye](https://archiveofourown.org/users/deltachye/gifts).



_“I’m not in love with you anymore, Haiji. I’m sorry.”_

_“There’s someone else, isn’t there?”_

_“I didn’t cheat on you if that’s what you were implying.” There’s an irked tone to your voice and Haiji understands that. Maybe he shouldn’t have brought it up in the first place after all. Still, that doesn’t help relieve the growing mix of emotions in his heart. Anger, sorrow, jealousy, all bubbled up and ready to explode, but years of discipline have taught him to hold them back, so he does, no matter how difficult it is. “But, well, he texted me and…”_

_“I understand. He’s your first love, right?” It hurts him to say that, but what else can he do? Even though you’re his first love, he’s not yours. He’s never been and never will be._

_“Yeah.” He wishes you didn’t look so guilty saying that. It’s making it harder for him to stay strong. Is he really about to cry for someone who was most likely using him to forget about their ex? He wants to, but he can’t. Not in front of you._

_“No hard feelings,” he assures you. “I get it.”_

_You look like you want to say something. He wishes you would, but you don’t. Instead, you stare at him for a few moments and sigh before turning around and leaving his apartment without a single goodbye._

How long has it been since that happened? Three weeks? Four months? Haiji isn’t sure himself, but he knows that regardless of how much time has passed since you walked out on him, the wound will always be fresh. Were the past two years you spent together a _waste_ to you— is that why you broke his heart in a blink of an eye?

Time hasn’t been as important to him as it used to be. Quite ironic, considering what he used to do in university. He was a former runner for Aotake and participant of the Hakone Ekiden where other than speed and strength, time was also one of the most important factors. Yet, these days, he always finds himself losing track of it. Minutes feel like hours and hours feel like days, so long, boring and unbearable. The work he has is yet to be done despite their impending deadlines. It’s pathetic, really, how he allowed you to ruin his life like this even when you’re not here with him.

Why does he keep thinking about you? It’s been forever since the last time he’s seen you. It’s been forever since he last heard you say ‘I love you’ to him. His friends, namely _Nico-chan senpai_ and Yuki told him to ‘move on already,’ but it’s not easy. Nothing is ever easy when it comes to moving on from you. 

Even though Tokyo is an active city, full of citizens and tourists alike, Haiji has never felt lonelier in his entire life. The chatter from the pedestrians, the cheery tunes from the advertisements in billboards and the sound of cars driving past are nothing but white noise to him as he crosses the street. Rain is starting to fall, pitter-pattering against the road as people begin to hurry to get to the other side. His knee aches when he speeds up — these days it’s been hurting more, he’s not entirely sure why — and it hurts even more when he realizes that someone bumped into it. Or rather, _something,_ considering that it was a sports bag similar to the one that he used to own.

He was about to turn around and apologize to whoever bumped into him, but all words in mind go forgotten when he realizes that it’s _you_. His breath hitches when he realizes that you’re not alone, that you’re holding on to another man’s arm. Even when you’re looking at him with so much disdain, he still thinks you’re still just as beautiful as he remembers. Without realizing it, he breathlessly utters your name and greets you with a simple, “hey.”

He knows it’s not the wisest decision to talk to someone he’s trying to move on from, but it wouldn’t hurt to catch up with you, right? After all, you used to ~~love~~ know each other. He just wants to know how you’ve been. He wants you to talk to him. _Anything_. He knows it’s been a long time, but he just wants you to remember who he is. Who he used to be to you.

But you don’t remember. At least, you’re acting like you don’t anyway, and he doesn’t know why. He wonders where he went wrong for you to be so cruel to him this way. He gave you all the love he had to give, only for it to be taken for granted. He should be mad at you. He wants to be, but he can’t. 

“Hey,” you greet him back with prominent disgust in your tone. It’s obvious that you want nothing more than to walk away and leave him there, but you’re not a rude person. You’ve never been that way, even with people you didn’t like. Still, he’d be lying if he said it didn’t hurt to see you looking at him this way. The man beside you — your new boyfriend, he assumes — looks down at you with a curious expression, muttering something in your ear that makes the corners of your lips twitch.

The new boyfriend doesn’t seem to be the most expressive guy, but Haiji _knows_ that he’s being looked at with complete distaste.

“He’s no one, Ikuya. Don’t worry about him.”

With a roll of your eyes and a shrug of your shoulders, you walk past him without ever looking back. Haiji never thought his heart could break more than it already has. Broken in half, shattered into pieces that will take longer than forever to put back together again. _But it’s alright,_ he tells himself.

What a terrible lie. What a damn liar he is to himself, but maybe, just maybe, he’ll come to believe it and make it come true one day. For now, he’ll grieve and wallow and sulk for as long as he wants to. And when he’s drowned in enough of his self-pity, he will try to make himself forget, and he will build himself back up again. No matter how long it takes, the time to let go will come, and he will do it. He has to. He wants to.

He _needs_ to.


End file.
